Do you know which you are? The terms ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’ are used in the Myers 
Briggs personality inventory to describe how you get re-energized when life wears you down.
Introverts get re-energized by solitude and being alone. Being with people is fine and even enjoyable, but too much people time can drain an introvert’s energy. To recharge, an introvert will need to get some alone time. The more introverted a person is, the more alone time that is needed in order to recharge. The question here is, “What gives me energy? Being with people and focusing on the outside world, or being alone and focusing on my internal world?”
Extroverts get energized by being with people. Alone time is fine and good, but too much alone time will cause an extrovert to feel depressed or down (speaking from experience on that one). The more extroverted a person is, the less alone time they can tolerate. Being an extrovert has little to do with how outgoing someone is. I have met very outgoing introverts and reserved extroverts.
I was thinking about all of this today as I walked. This summer, I have got up early most mornings for scripture reading, prayer and then a 4 mile walk, which amounts to at least 2 or 3 hours of alone time…. all before the kids are even up sometimes. I have loved this alone time so much and feel that I really “need” it. But not in the same way that an introvert would “need” this time.
It’s easy to get confused about whether you are an introvert or extrovert because you might think that if you need or enjoy alone time, then you must be an introvert. I could easily think that about myself. I am an extrovert, but I thoroughly enjoy and need alone time not so much because being with people drains me, but because I need time alone to allow my spirit to be refreshed, to listen to God, to stay centered, to journal and write. Alone time for me is more about making time for the things that I sense God doing in my heart and life. Do you see the difference?
I believe it’s important to be clear on the difference because it’s good to know ourselves, and thus understand what we need in life in order to be at our best. Understanding what gives us energy and what drains our energy is vital. It’s also helpful to know this about the people around us. I’ll talk more about this with the next post.
How about you? Are you an Extrovert or Introvert? If you’re an Extrovert, how do you feel about alone time? As an Introvert, do you enjoy being with people? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
(Here is a link to a free, adapted Myers-Briggs test if you’ve never taken one)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
As an “extrovert” if I don’t get enough “alone” time I wither, my focus diminishes and I get testy with those I love. I’ve studied MB for years and one of the thought leaders I respect said that the real difference between and E /I is not their people interaction per se, but whether they need to process their thoughts internally or outloud to gain clarity. So that puts me squarely in the E- camp. Otherwise if I was judging only if I get drained by too much people interaction I’d be an I.
I totally agree with the point of your blog. It’s vital to know what feeds and restores our soul so we can march on effectively walking in Grace.
Thanks for adding to the conversation! I appreciate your comments. What you’ve said about processing thoughts internally or externally is really fascinating. I wonder if processing externally/ internally isn’t similar with the thought that extroversion focuses on the outside world and introversion focuses on the inward world.
I can relate with you about the need to process thoughts and decisions externally, which further confirms my extroversion as well!
The internal/external thought-processing that Charlene mentioned has been such a helpful “tie-breaker” over the years, since the alone time/with people factor can sometimes be ambiguous, as you inferred.
Another piece: we tend to assess whether we are an introvert/extrovert also based on those around us, in comparison. Thus, a more borderline extrovert (like my wife) wondered for years if she was an introvert, simply by way of contrast with myself – an off the charts extrovert. So there is also the matter of degree.
As you said, so helpful to get handles on our design, not only to better steward our own lives, but to more effectively/helpfully relate to those around us in ways that work for them. Looking forward to your thoughts on that!
Thanks, Doug! You have identified an important point… comparing ourselves to those around us can cause us to miss who we really are. Love that. Tomorrow I’m sharing a bit about our journey in understanding each other better (Charles and I). Understanding this stuff has helped our marriage immensely, how we parent, and relate to others.
Thanks, Tracy, for getting this conversation started and Charlene and Doug for insightful additions. I’m someone who falls into the introvert camp, whether measuring by how we get energized, how much alone time we need or how we process thoughts. That said, it’s interesting to note that there are people I will easily and comfortably process thoughts with externally, and other folks who may not know what I’m thinking until days (years!) later. So, maybe we could throw environment and relationship dynamics into the mix as a variable too! I’m really thankful for my relationships that are developed to the point where I feel at home enough to share out loud with minimal pre-processing. As well, I’ve learned I need to push myself out of my comfort zone for the good of the relationship…which I’m guessing, Tracy, you will be addressing in some way.
Mary, you are right… it is such a gift to have people we can process with. I wonder if you have found it “easier” to process externally with extroverts, introverts, or maybe you haven’t noticed a pattern? I’m curious about that!
Hmmm…..good question, Tracy! I think the common factor is the quality of the listening, not whether the person is extrovet or introvert.
As always with me … BOTH … I get a certain amount of Energy from being with people but I equally enjoy time alone. At different times I have enjoyed a large amount of time with others but more recently and consistently I spend time alone. Live and work alone so being alone is a non-issue. However getting together with others has proven a bit more challenging. Knowing the right balance well that’s something I have yet to find out … LOL
Shalom!