Today is my oldest son Sylas’s 18th birthday.

So, I was at the store this morning looking through birthday cards.  We don’t usually buy birthday cards, but today I am curious to see what all was there for sons.

After looking through several different cards, I am drawn to one of a baby tenderly being cradled in someone’s loving arms.  On the front it said,

“Gone are the days when I held you in my arms….”

I become aware of an emotional response beginning to well up within my soul as I opened up the card.

And on the inside,

“But I will always, always, hold you in my heart.”

Suddenly I’m standing there in the isle with big tears streaming down my face.  In truth, it is more than just a few tears.  I am crying.

Parenting is by far the most rewarding, challenging, joyful, adventurous, intentional, exhausting, exhilarating thing I have ever done.  Even today, as I’m filled with so much joy and pride for who Sylas is and is becoming,  there’s also a certain sorrow as I think of this person, whom I used to cradle in my arms, leaving home to go to school next fall.

And I’m thinking about all of those years in between, feeling happy for each day, yet sad that those days are gone.

Today, I am so thankful for every minute we have spent with Sylas.  As a little kid we spent hours exploring nature as we walked through parks and paths.  Well, I walked and he ran.  But anyways, we combed every inch of our backyard, neighborhood and local parks.  We read books together, painted and made lots of stuff, built Lego creations together, spent time with friends from church, and made trips to the grandparents house and all over the world.

As Sylas grew, it seems like alot of our time with him was spent watching him play sports, starting already with pee wee soccer and t-ball, and then to baseball and tennis in High School.   Other than maybe missing 1 or 2 events,  at least one of us has always been there, front row, cheering him on and believing in him.

We haven’t been perfect parents by a long shot.  There are things that I would do differently, or even do over if I could.  But on this day, I am so grateful for Sylas, who he is becoming, and the gift that he is.

Yes, gone are the days when I hold him in my arms, but I will always, always, hold him closely in my heart.

Happy Birthday, Son.