I recently heard Condoleeza Rice say, “If you aren’t finding yourself in the midst of a struggle, you might not be doing anything that really matters.” In other words, when we put our necks out there for someone or something we care about, we often find ourselves smack in the middle of difficult challenges. In the midst of a struggle might just be one of the best places to be.
My 12-year-old daughter is in Middle School. Middle School can be such a confusing time. The forces that pressure girls to fit in, look a certain way and act a certain way are gargantuan in size. Middle School almost ends up being less about learning the three Rs and more about a struggle to find yourself in the midst of the barrage of messages. And that’s a battle worth fighting. That struggle matters desperately.
I’ve said it before, but one of my favorite poems goes like this:
to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.
e.e. cummings
I see my daughter, every day, fighting the battle to be who she was made to be While it’s hard at times to see her working through the challenges, the struggle she finds herself in is growing her into a stronger young woman.
I couldn’t be more proud of my daughter for fighting this battle. While difficult, someday she will reap the rewards of pressing through and of not giving in to becoming what everyone else thinks she should be.
How about you? Do you find yourself in the midst of a struggle? Maybe your struggle is to
- get physically in shape to improve your quality of life or to reach a goal
- be a voice for those who have no voice
- give others opportunities they would otherwise never have
- finish a book you’ve dreamed of writing for years
- overcome an addiction that has a hold on you
- keep your family together despite huge obstacles
- get out of debt
Whatever struggle you find yourself in the midst of, keep pressing forward and don’t give up. What you’re fighting for does matter!
And then, when we are grown up, as we interact with people, we find ourselves continuing to struggle with the way others defined us in seventh and eighth grade. And with how we defined others at that same time. This new person in my life makes me feel like I felt when that certain popular girl enjoyed tormenting me in front of others. Those sorts of things. How hard it can be to escape those early “definitions” of our personhood and personality! In Christ, we receive a new identity, and we discover the true identity and worth we had all along. But for some, it can be a life-long journey to overcome the “foundations laid in Middle School.” What a blessing for our children that we have this understanding now and can help them through those early, self-defining years so that they emerge with their true identity in Christ!
It’s so true that it can take a long time to move beyond the messages we internalize as youth about who we should be. Parents do play such a key role in helping to bring the perspective you speak of. Thank you!