Charles and I recently got together with a friend and as we were talking back and forth, our friend  took a moment to reflect on his perspective of us as a couple.  He said, “You two are an interesting mix of pastoral ministry and experience, a strong business sense, and university teaching. Together, you bring a diverse package that offers alot of opportunity to make a valuable contribution.” And then in the next breath he had moved on to other things.  And here I thought that we couldn’t get our act together and figure out who we wanted to be!  That’s a bit of an overstatement to make the point.

Fresh Perspective

Anyways, it was just a little moment in the midst of a bigger conversation, yet our friend’s words gave me fresh perspective on ourselves. What I heard him say was that it’s good that you have such a variety of experiences. Sometimes you just need to hear it from other people.

We all need perspective at times on our life- the truth about who we are, what we’re doing, or perhaps our current life situation. We all lose perspective occasionally. Here are some clues that you may need some fresh  perspective:

• Feeling down and discouraged, or bad about yourself
• Your life feels too small
• What you are doing day in and day out has lost some of it’s meaning
• You wonder if what you’re doing matters, or if this is all there is
• Feelings of being a failure, incompetent or not good enough

Why Perspective Matters

I’m sure there are others that could be named, but you get the idea.  The reason losing perspective is a problem is that we begin to tell ourselves stories about who we are that aren’t true.  Did you ever think about that?  You are continually telling yourself a story about your life, your situation, about who you are.* If you lose perspective in life, you start to tell a story about yourself that likely isn’t true or correct, and likely makes you, as the main character, less than who you are.  And then we begin to run out of those stories.

For example, let’s say that you experienced a failure in some way. The story you begin to tell yourself about your experience is, is that you’re done.  You’ve messed up so badly no one will ever trust you again or want you to be part of what they’re doing, or that you just don’t have what it takes. You’re a terrible mother, father, spouse,  friend, leader, businessperson, child, colleague, or whatever it is.  And on and on it goes. Before you know it, it becomes the reality that you create for yourself.

So how do we keep from telling bad stories about ourselves?

People.  We need other people to help us keep perspective.  Trusted friends who help us to see the big picture and the truth about who we are.  Isolation is dangerous.  It’s nearly impossible to keep a healthy perspective while living an isolated life.

I recall when our three kids were all under the age of 5, feeling like I was losing my sense of self.  I had so little time, and nearly no energy, to push out other things that I cared about beyond being a mom.  I had a couple of dear friends who would often remind me that this was a season of my life, it wouldn’t be like this forever, and that the ways I was investing in the kids did matter and I was making a difference.

Perspective from trusted friends is like a breath of fresh air, or water to the thirsty soul.

The Book of Proverbs says it like this…

“A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” (18:4)

Do whatever you need to do to keep perspective in life.  Set up a regular time to meet with a friend face to face or via skype, put yourself in the right environments, read the right stuff, visit the places that remind you of what’s important, take time for listening prayer, go on a retreat, keep a list of true statements in a visible place, etc.  Do whatever you need to do to keep perspective.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.”  Proverbs 4:23

 

It’s just that important.

(*If you want to find out what story you are telling yourself about your life, listen intentionally to the thoughts that go through your head.)

Photo by Léonard Cotte on Unsplash